Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
