thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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