hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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