I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize