You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
