I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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