That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize