I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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