in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
i've created a new STD.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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