that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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