God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize
