are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
