I wish I could teleport
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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