yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
