Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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