I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
