I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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