Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
