I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Farmville is her only friend.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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