saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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