Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
