ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Randomize
