Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
