You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
