Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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