You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize