So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
