The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
