can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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