before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
