Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
