Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
