id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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