no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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