i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Randomize
