I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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