yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
