upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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