If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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