someone get that fucking seahorse.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
