I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
