with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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