If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
