Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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