you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
