By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
