So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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