I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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