Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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