how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
