Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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