Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He keeps bees of course he's weird
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
