Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.

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(310): View more from California

i was born a porn star she said

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(314): View more from Missouri

He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.

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(317): View more from Indiana

So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?

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(757): View more from Virginia

I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.

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(312): View more from Illinois

Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..

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(805): View more from California

Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.

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(616): View more from Michigan

Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh

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