i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize