I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
