How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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