that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
